My flight got delayed and i got a bit of time to kill before booking a cab to the airport.

I needed a short break.
Its a good time for a weekend out before it gets too busy.

I will probably
read a little,
gym a little,
shop too much,
drink too much,
eat too much,
smoke too much,
laugh too much,
play too much.

Hmm, writing this ,it seems this has been the life I have always been leading.
Nah, I am not going to change.
Too good this way.

Yes. I have a morning interview and meeting to attend to , in a couple of hours time.

High on booze and cigers, It was simply ripe to pen down how I felt over the last few days.

Shaun and I have a big boys talk out at the veranda just now , in Mox.

Work has been vexing. Not that its something extraordinary, but I recently have two overseas stint offer that I will wish to embark - Dubai and Xinjiang. Budding company equates enormous commitment. I cant just shrug off my responsibilities and pack my bag. It , really not like the old days anymore , i presume. We can never be Peter Pan for more than once in a life time.

People who know me in close, must understand the fact that I am estranged with my folks at home. For will or choice , I wouldnt want to dwell on it here. Henceforth , to come upon the passing of an old friend, Darrell, sets me thinking over various issues today.

1. Estranged from my family equates no one to take care of me if any ill health befall moi. Not even a single soul will have the time to rake up my wardrobe for a decent photo for the obituries - if , hypothetically , to speak.

2. What will my friend and my folks remember me by ? Who are the people whom I have make a difference in his or her life ? Or there is none to begin.

************

To drink , to smoke , to write. I am already feeling better this minute. I cant wait going for my hoilday next week. I need to give my mind and body a break.

Himbolicious Life is undergoing revamp.

Shouild be done up in a couple of days' time.

I took most of the day off today. I am feeling stretched out and Brian is back so I guess its alright that I zone out.

I am feeling a little jaded at work , I suppose. It doesnt happen often. But I guess we all have our fair share of shit at work.

I had a long lunch with Jo today, again. Incidentally, she took a day off to help out her friend cum colleague , taking bridal shoots in Kinokuniya. Its a really bizarre idea - to want to have your wedding photos at your work place. I will never want to do it. Besides, I will never have the chance , or so to speak.

Anyway, we poured out our woes like we have never lost touch. I am glad we took trust in each other.

*****************
New album

"最心痛是 愛得太遲
有些心意 不可等某個日子
盲目地發奮 忙忙忙其實自私
夢中也習慣 有壓力要我得志

最可怕是 愛需要及時
只差一秒 心聲都已變歷史
忙極亦放肆 見我愛見的相知
要抱要吻要怎麼也好 偏要推說等下一次 "
- 愛得太遲, 古巨基

Jo and I had lunch for eternity , yakking over everything that we have missed out over the last 6 years and everything else under the sun. It doesnt help much that she is in the project team of Kinokuniya. I got to know so much more about the rest of the books that are up and coming. I cant wait to lay my hands of them.

She told me about all her passion in humanitarian work in Camodia and her upcoming plans. Her angst over work politics etc..

It never come that difficult to me. To tell a long lost friend that I am queer. The exact words just did not sound too right as I recounted to her how I spent my last six years. At the same time , I am feeling a little apprehensive if I do not come clean to her. There are various issues that put me into consideration. Alas , this is just the first lunch after 6 years. I might think I have been too over excited into wanting to do everything , all at once.

Yup. Indeed.... Gutsy and passionate about life. Honestly, thats what I look for in a man too.

Albert Elstein proclaimed that if we were to be able to travel faster than the speed of light, time can be reversed, or time may seem much slower. Its the theory of relativity.

Hmm..I have no idea what i was trying to put across with that statement. Alas, I cant really think straight after working ten hours straight at a proposal.

I had a good lunch with Babe this afternoon. I bumped into a very old friend at Kinokuniya today. It was a joyous moment for both of us.

We are doing lunch tomorrow. :=) We have lots to catch up.

Casanova in Hell - Pet Shop Boys

The girl's perfection
Inspires affection
It's queer
That here
He can't cast his spell
In her direction
Somewhere near
One senses fear
Casanova in Hell

The girl is naked
The boy is naked
He hides
Inside
A secret chamber
There to gape
Through a velvet drape
And dream of rape
Casanova in Hell

Her sharp suggestion
He couldn't get an erection
Came as a shock
He finds himself
A laughing-stock
His ageing fate
To contemplate
Casanova in Hell

Back in the library
His revenge is his story
What he will write
Will recall the bite
Of his wit
And legendary appetite
The sybarite
Casanova is well

For Casanova has the last laugh
Creates the myth and vindication
Of his sexual vocation
Makes the definitive collection
His lives and lovers and above all
His erection
Will live in history

Read More

"Who’s to say what’s impossible
Well they forgot this world keeps spinning
And with each new day
I can feel a change in everything  

And as the surface breaks reflections fade
But in some ways they remain the same
And as my mind begins to spread it’s wings
There’s no stopping curiosity  

I want to turn the whole thing upside down
I’ll find the things they say just can’t be found
I’ll share this love I find with everyone
We’ll sing and dance to mother nature’s songs
I don’t want this feeling to go away  

Who’s to say I can’t do everything
Well I can try, and as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren’t always just what they seem  "
- Upside Down , Jack Johnson

Containment and control

" I have a talent for doing what I arent good at." "

I always love the idea of living and letting live. Naturally , i cannot swore nearly to it. But I try to keep up with it, by and far.
Even if no one near vouches for my actions,

I am bored. Literally stupified by the mundane routine of work. Give me a year or two. Let this baby grow a bit bigger and i will have it up for adoption. With that , i will steer to another unchartered arena , and evolve again.

I want to keep doing new things.

i want to reform.

I have been working like a bull out of the leash lately. I am quite alright with it actually. Like what E claims, my social life has become predominant in the last half year, rather than work. So here i am, making up to whatever actions I have been missing.

There are many exciting projects coming up and i am really looking forward to learning many new stuff and am keeping my fingers crossed on whatever that is coming my way.

Hmmm..nothing much to write. I guess there is really nothing much to update.- Thats a really lame sentence.

Anyhow, I 'd better read a bit of work stuff before getting to bed . Yup. I have to finish up some work tomorrow. I hope it will be sunshine when i wake up and i can look forward to finishing up work and doing ski or sun baking.

A Blind weekend

I have been through a series of screening for the past weeks. Boyfriends' screening, i mean. All my kind friends has been doing very quiet gatherings with a hidden agenda of getting me hitched.

Two things flashed through my mind:
1. I must be a really good catch that they will want their friends to get a grab before anyone else do.
2. I must be looking really desperate and wanting to be hitched . My poor friends cant bear to see me being single for just another second.

Its nice to know people and their livestyles. With differential equations , goverment policies , quantum physics to the latest medical advancement and some swooning local artistes their friends swore as partners - I am constantly amused , if not bemused , with the direction te conversations are steering. They are so different from myself that i cant help asking if they are , all , actually looking at the wrong man sitting with them.

Some are typical flashy ones. Having a new SLK and 50 inch plasma in their bedrooms with their exotic holidays and all, they can be really impressive with the brand names they can cajole in a string of grammar.

Honestly. I am totally tired of all these blind dates. Not that i am unappreciative. But I trust that my friends know that I am one who can walk up to know whoever i think , i want.

I love hanging out with all my friends. But spare me all the bachelor game. Not now , at least.

Work gets too tired during the week and i do not want to introduce my roles and responsibilties at work on my rest days.

Good lord...

I cant get to sleep albeit waking up at 8 this morning and having to wake up at eight tomorrow. If you will have some sympathy, do be reminded that i have to WORK tomorrow and no amout of La Mer is gonna do a fabulous job in uplifting my fatigue face. Worse than ever, I am still on the prowl . Do allow me, at least ,to stay fabulous till I conquer one puny bush out there in the big vast world.

AMEN!

Quick Update:

I am fine. Thanks to all you folks' concern. Havent squeeze out time to update cause I am literally suffocated with work. I almost forgot its friday today until my mobile beeped 'Lunch appt with Babe on sat' . Am i getting old and jittery at 26 ? I hope not.

Many new projects to anchor . Nope. I am not earning mega bucks here. Just enough to sustain a spa trips at hinterland, another one or two gym bags and year end luxe winter holiday. Thats about all of the bonuses i reckon. Digits - what significance does it make , other than the storms that may hit , and the lifestyle we upkeep. Not really actually.

At least to me. An artist in nature. A passionate kid in profession.

Got to run. Another gruelling day with lots of bullshit and smiles.

Is it any Wonder? - Keane

I always thought that I knew
I'd always have the right to
Be living in the kingdom of the good and true
and so on

but now I think how I was wrong
And you were laughing along
And now I look a fool for thinking you were on, my side

Is it any wonder I'm tired
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right

Sometimes
It's hard to know where I stand
It's hard to know where I am
Well maybe it's a puzzle I don't understand

But sometimes
I get the feeling that I'm
Stranded in the wrong time
Where love is just a lyric in a children rhyme, a soundbite

Is it any wonder that I'm tired
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right
oh, these days
After all the misery you made
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed

Nothing left inside this old cathedral
Just the sad lonely spires
Adding you make it right

Oh, but you try Is it any wonder I'm tired
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right

oh, these days
After all the misery you made
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed