i

Love at different phase. Have different impact. It starts with love from family. To friends. To your partner. Most importantly, we learn to love ourselves. We question ourselves constantly, about the weightage of love we receive and give.

It is never easy to love as much as to be loved. Incredulous?, but true
##

This is a book i read. Sum it and share with all of you:

There is this girl. She was born on the wrong day. The day her dad loses a large sum of money. She was ostracised to be the unluckly girl in the family.Her family reminds her of this constantly. She did not like to talk. She can go on quiet for a couple of days. Parents thinks she is a dim witt. Her sister, on the other hand was bubbly and much loved. She fely inferior in front of her sister. She felt she did not deserve love. Her family does not love her.She hates herslf. but she doesnt understands why. She refuses even to look at the mirror of herself.She feels she is not worh seeing.

When they started schooling, She could not focus at work She was again termed to be the lazy one in the family. On the other hand, her sister was doing very well. The girl was reprimanded constantly for being lazy and stupid. Her angelic sister did terrible things to her constantly as well... She threatens her to keep it a secret. Her sister was confident no one will believe the girl. The girl was miserable. She knows thats true. She will not be listened. Sister has a way to threaten the girl: To tell her parents that she has not been studying . With this, she has to squat in the living room for the whole night to reflect on it.

In school, She was constantly bulied by her classmates for being different and quiet. She was so afraid that she will walk half an hour to an obscure bus stop to avoid these bullying. The girl felt miserable at home and in school. She tried to kill herself various times. It was as if God still wants her to live in this living hell. It failed everytime.

Soon, she found a friend. This good friend became her life. She was being loved again. Unfortunately, things was not that rosy for the girl. She overheard her friend's conversation in the toilet. She was used by her friend all along. She was crushed.

She was devastated.She could not speak for days again. Her parents were at their wits end. They were angry with their ingrate. For not appreciating the beautiful house that they lives in. or the wealth they now possess. They feel ashamed that they have to visit a doctor to talk abt their abnormal ingrate. They finally relented in bringing her to a doctor. She went thru many many test and took so many drugs, tranqulizers. Till she really thout she was sick too.

One day, This girl was on her way to see the doctor, the doctor that diagnosed her to have serious mental problem. She saw an old lady in the midst of bustling human traffic. She was trying to pick up something. She cant. She was very old and frail. Everyone looked on, without helping. Everyone seems curious and disgusted with the old woman in "Ginza" district. She was shabby ,bare footed.

This image of the old woman left the girl a deep impression. She walked on for a very long time. Thinking about her sorrows , her life. She realised that ppl never likes to see every part of you. Only the best. Never at the most vunerable.

So that girl starts painting a mask. She was good at it. She became just like the rest. To blend in. She became a better painter. She could paint such intricate mask that her parents and friends love her mask so much. But yet she is sad wat ppl likes is not her true self. But the mask she is wearing.

After many years of wearing the mask, the girl fell in love. The guy asked her to marry him. And To take off that mask, so that he will love her more. She loves the man. She is scared but she loves the man.

She lifted her mask, revealing an ugly scarred image. It was totally not wat the mask looks like. The man was shocked He left her. The girl broke down and cry. She knows everyone only loves the mask. She loves the mask too. But she doesnt to live forever with that mask on her. She knows the only way not to get hurt again is to wear a beautiful mask that ppl loves.


##

Babe. Sorry if i have disappoint you in my ways of dealing with this. I hope you understand.

##

征服
曲︰袁惟仁
詞︰袁惟仁
編︰王繼康

終於你找到一個方式分出了勝負
輸贏的代價是彼此粉身碎骨
外表健康的你心裡傷痕無數
頑強的我是這場戰役的俘虜

就這樣被你征服　切斷了所有退路
我的心情是堅固　我的決定是糊塗
就這樣被你征服　喝下你藏好的毒
我的劇情已落幕　我的愛恨已入土

終於我明白倆人要的是一個結束
所有的辯解都讓對方以為是企圖
放一把火燒掉你送我的禮物
卻澆不熄我胸口灼熱的憤怒