Reconciliation

I thought it thru out the entire of my Cambodia trip. And its the first thing I did when I got back home after my afternoon meeting and yoga class.

I just put down the phone with my mum.I finally muster the courage to reconcile with my past, in one way or another. I promised her I will have lunch or dinner every month or two.

I always thought by keeping my distance from my folks , I will not end up like them. I do not wish to be like them. Even in this moment. But sometimes, I see so much of my mum in whatever I do. I see her in me. It will never go away.

There are resentment that I know I can never put down completely behind me. I come to acknowledge this cruel fact. Time erases everything but never the ones that haunt you day and night.

There are many scars that I have kept so closely by my heart that I fail to realize they do not have to be a part of me. I have a choice.

I know its going to be hard to start communiacting with her, and eventually my dad, but I know I have to start somewhere. Its a good time, cause all my loved ones will be here for me even if my folks are too much for me to bear emotionally.

Thats another resolution half completed. Now back to reading the reports for tomorrow's meeting.